On Being Liberal: Why It Matters

Are you still reading?  Then you probably think of yourself as a liberal or democrat or both, too.  And that’s a shame.  Because in the current political climate, as it has been for several years now, we simply do not listen to one another’s point of view.

It is a shame that we have completely lost the fine art of debate.  Let’s face it, our political “debates” are about as far from a debate as one could possibly get, where politicians from both sides completely ignore the moderator’s questions and instead bring any and all questions back around to their own talking points. Or simply shout each other down. Is it any wonder that we’re loosing the skills to engage in an intelligent conversation of differing opinions?  We certainly have few good examples to look to in our “leaders.”

True, those early days of American politics were surely no tea party (pun, anyone?).  Historical documents lead us to believe that our forefathers did not sit together quietly and congenially, working through their ideas. No, it seems there was quite a bit of shouting and gnashing of teeth as they pounded out the documents on which our country was based. But there was also no CNN or Fox News.  No texting. No internet.  By the time word got to their constituents that anything was happening, it was already done and over with.

Those founding fathers (with more than a little input from several outspoken founding mothers) worked long and hard hashing out the points they felt were important.  There was lots of arguing.  Innumerable disagreements.  But ultimately, they were all working for the greater good of a fledgling nation, not just the sound bite for their next election campaign ad.  And they actually got things done.

I have heard it said that “liberals” are as closed-minded as they claim conservatives to be, just as stubborn about their beliefs. And this may be true.  But ultimately, I find myself more readily “left justified” than aligned with the right. And although there are left leaning Republicans and right leaning Democrats, I believe, at the end of the day, that, if I have to be labeled, I fall to the side of the liberals for one very simple reason. Fundamentally, I find that liberals, on the whole, embrace, while conservatives shun, particularly in matters of social significance. We may not always go about it the right way, and assuredly we do not always succeed, but overall we allow our beliefs to guide us in ways that more often than not INclude rather than EXclude.

There are a multitude of examples I could provide, but I will choose from some of the thorniest to make my point. Hang on to your hats, ladies and gents, I’m about to step up to my soap box…it may be a bumpy ride…but then I’m probably preachin’ to the choir…

Pro-choice versus pro-life. First, please stop trying to inflame people by saying that pro-life equals pro-abortion. IT DOES NOT. I am pro-choice.  Meaning, as the term would imply, that I support women’s right to have choices regarding what to do with her body.  The problem, in part, is a question of terminology. The opposite of pro-choice would be anti-choice, NOT pro-life.  I am not against life. Since I, myself, am alive, to be anti-life, would mean I was basically suicidal, regardless of what was going on inside my body, wouldn’t it? So not the case.

It also doesn’t mean I’m out there like some warped version of Oprah—“And YOU get an abortion! And YOU get an abortion!  EVERYBODY gets an abortion!” Pro-choice doesn’t mean you demand that people make a certain choice, it means you support the existence of a choice.  In my book, this is a deeply personal issue, and I hope and pray that I never find myself in a position to have to choose. I hope you don’t either. But if you do come to such a crossroads, ladies, the liberal position supports your decision either way.  Should your views, religious or personal, not support this option, then you should follow your beliefs.  Because you have a choice.  Having a choice allows both options to be available for use according to one’s views, situation, etc. The conservative (or perhaps ultra-conservative) viewpoint takes away my choice, and makes me have to conform solely to its belief.

The same holds true for availability of birth control (female birth control-clearly condoms can be sold at any gas station). If you do not believe in birth control, then you should not use it.  Plain and simple.  The fact that it is available does not mean you are in any way forced into it. Use it.  Don’t.  It’s an option.

In my mind, these are not even issues of the left and right so much as they an issue of men try to control women and their bodies. No, I don’t think all men are evil or out to get me as a woman, and if there are men that don’t believe in abortion or birth control, they have every right to their beliefs and every right to voice said beliefs. But they don’t get to make rules about it. If you don’t HAVE a uterus, you should not be allowed to legislate what goes on in mine. And since women are so pathetically under-represented (number wise) in congress and politics in general, this is clearly something that the government has no business legislating in the first place.  What happened to no big government?  Now you’re going to, what, create a whole section of government to police women’s reproductive systems? Sheesh! Interesting that no one is talking about making condoms illegal. I’ve always said that if, when two people had sex, either of them could get pregnant, then birth control, abortion, rape, none of these would be an issue.  There would be no arguments whatsoever.

And then there is same sex marriage. Why, why are we still discussing this? Conservatives want marriage to be exclusive.  One man, one woman. This is the “definition.”  Well, who defines things? Definitions are not static; they change constantly through usage, knowledge, understanding. We use words differently, define them differently, over time. Read some Shakespeare, for heaven’s sake!

Everyone is hung up on the word “marriage.”  And while some in the gay and lesbian community have made the actual word part of their fight for equality, I would venture to guess that the majority of people are not so much concerned with what you call it. They are more concerned with not being considered “less than”:

Their relationships are less valid than heterosexuals.
Their partners are less entitled to gain medical information about them.
Their partners are less deserving of spousal benefits afforded to heterosexual couples, including health care, pensions, FMLA, etc.
They are less capable of raising healthy, happy children.

Allowing gay and lesbian couples to get married does not infringe upon your right to not believe in homosexuality.  If you don’t think it’s right, then you don’t have to get “gay” married.  You can choose a church that doesn’t support homosexuality.  You can surround yourself with people who don’t believe in it either. You still have the right to choose not to accept it. The liberal stance embraces their rights while recognizing your own.  The conservative stance preserves your right to your beliefs, while denying them theirs.

And don’t even get me started on “entitlements.” Seriously.  There is much talk on the conservative side of pulling oneself up by their own boot straps.  Which is fine when you have a pair of boots. Everyone doesn’t.  And when we make promises to people, about things like social security and medicare, we ought to keep those promises.

It is hard to even start a conversation with a conservative about social security, as the immediate response to any discussion is that ‘social security was never meant to be a sole source of income.’ Well, that may be true, and I think it is clear to my generation that social security is in no way secure, nor anything that we can possibly hope to count on in our old age (although we continue to pay into it).

But for my Mom and Dad’s generation, the promise was stronger and the argument was not made quite clear to them. In my parent’s time, they counted on a guaranteed pension promised to my Dad through his work as a state employee, and social security.  Dad’s pension was reasonable, but upon retiring from the state with 30+ years of service, it was not large enough for him to take the option of a smaller income in order to guarantee a benefit to my mother upon his death.  For her part, my mother had worked prior to getting married, then stayed home to raise our family. After my father retired, she went back to school to be a medical technician and worked for a local “doc in a box.’  What little retirement she had from working there disappeared when the company closed and filed for bankruptcy.

When my father died four years ago, Dad’s pension was gone, his health insurance was gone, and she was left with only a small portion of his social security in addition to her own.  A whopping $900 a month total. Cut her social security and what exactly is she expected to live on? At 70 years old, she’s had to go back to work part time just so she doesn’t have to fret about paying her house insurance or buying her groceries. She’s not looking to start a new career, she’s just trying to survive. She has been a good citizen, a good wife, a good mother.  Why is it too much to ask the government to make good on the promise they made to her? If we need to change social security going forward, so be it.  But maintain your commitment to those already counting on it.

It seems that conservatives presume that people who currently rely on social security were just too stupid to invest or to plan for their futures. Maybe that’s why so many people are against “Obamacare”—less healthcare means people may die off sooner and we can quit paying them out.  A modern day Modest Proposal! You may think that’s a cynical potshot, but I assure you my mother was not laughing when federal budget negotiations threatened to delay he social security check. She was visiting me for my son’s birthday and fretted the whole time she was here about how she was going to pay her bills.  Congress may have been playing at politics (on both sides), but her worry was real. I’m not sure Congress always remembers that there are real people who are affected by their decisions, or indecisions.

In the case of Medicare, there is an incredibly easy and guaranteed way to fix it, by the way. Simply take away the great insurance that congressmen, both Republican and Democrat, get after leaving office and replace it with the same Medicare benefits everyone else in the country is entitled to. Medicare will be fixed tomorrow. No lie. Come to think of it, maybe we should change their retirement benefit exclusively to social security, and get that fixed, too.  Ah, but I digress…

There are also different types of federal programs that provide assistance to everyday people like me.

Here’s a good example.  Before I had my son, I wanted to buy a house.  I had gotten myself into a debt hole with credit cards, and worked my way, slowly, out of it.  I began to save money and eventually started looking for a house.  I contacted a mortgage company to get pre-approved for a loan.  As a first time home buyer, I qualified for an FHA loan that allowed me to buy a house without having 20% down. I was grateful for this government program that provided me the bit of assistance I needed to make my dream of owning a home of my own, with a front porch and veggie garden, with a bed of iris and a lawn to mow, a reality.  I was careful to buy only as much house as I believed I could afford, and in the 7+ years I’ve owned my home, I’ve never missed a payment.  I pay my property taxes. I pay my government version of PMI each month. I am a good citizen to my neighbors.  I just needed a little assistance to get where I was going.

I am often reminded of the old joke about the man in the flood who refuses assistance time and time again because “God will save him.” When he ultimately dies in the flood and meets God in heaven, he asks why God did not save him, to which God replies, “I sent a car, a boat, a helicopter…” While God helps those who helps themselves, it was a core mission of Jesus to help the less fortunate.  Those who needed a helping hand.  What is wrong with striking a balance?

Oh, and I never would have been able to get my degrees had it not been for student loans, which I continue to pay back until my balance is paid in full. Unfortunately, I could not ask Mom and Dad for a loan, like some have suggested. Not that they would not have helped me if they could. But that type of financial support was simply not part of my reality. If it’s part of you’re reality, more power to you, my friend. I am happy for you. But allowing programs like federal student loans to exist give those of us without such means the opportunity to earn an education as well.

I could not bring myself to watch either convention this year, but I have read quite a few reviews and watched some of the commentary afterwards on Charlie Rose. After listening to various guests talk about Obama, I guess I share one of the president’s perceived flaws. Like him, I want to believe that rational people can sit down together and talk about things, and when making logical points on either side, can eventually come to an agreement. Clearly this presumes too many things to come to fruition. I am left frustrated at the lack of conversation on every level and a logical train of thought derailed by a fundamental inability to be inclusive.

Why do I think being a liberal matters today?  Because I believe somebody has to keep trying to have the conversation, and keep trying to find those people on both sides of the aisle who can engage in genuine debate and fashion solutions that take into account and accommodate as many beliefs as possible.  Care to start a conversation? Perhaps eventually we can get rid of all these labels and actually work together, as our forefathers did, with the goal of a government that actually works for the all people it represents.

“Rush”-ing to judgment

There have been so many things out there to write about lately that I’ve gotten writers block in reverse—a sort of constipation of the brain where everything wants to come out at the same time, but instead it all gets compacted in my head and nothing comes out…until the continuing saga of Rush Limbaugh’s verbal attach on Georgetown Law School’s Sandra Fluke.  And suddenly, like mental Dulcolax, my brain gave way and a rant on Rush’s big ole pile of poop came steaming out.

Now, I have to admit, I don’t really pay much attention to Rush.  Many adjectives come to mind to describe his show and the things he says on it, and not one of them is complimentary. I gave up being offended by him long ago and wrote him off to that distant corner of my world with all the other crazy people. He strikes me as the kind of person who merely exists to stir the pot—someone who just says things to say them, whether he believes them or not, and then basks in his astonishment that someone could be offended by his “soothsaying,” and then immediately dismisses anything contradictory that you could possibly say about him or his comments.

But this one, this really gets under my skin.  As I’ve mentioned before, I am somewhat of an “armchair feminist.”  Generally speaking, I don’t believe that men are out to get us or that they are evil, and I don’t want to turn men into women, or whatever other bologna Rush and those like him believe feminists are up to. However, in this instance, I DO believe that the effort to control female reproduction is tied to a fundamental belief by some that men should not only be allowed to, but entitled to, control women and their bodies.  It’s great how men who can control their own fertility by purchasing a condom at any grocery store, convenience store or gas station get to call women “sluts” and “prostitutes” because we want access to the same reproductive rights.

Some have tried to say that this argument is not about contraception at all but about religious freedom and the right of religious based medical facilities to not have their spiritual beliefs overrun by being mandated to provide birth control or allow insurance to cover it. But Rush goes against this very premise when he calls Ms. Fluke a slut for support the right to availability of birth control. His direct quote was:

“What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute… She wants to be paid to have sex. She’s having so much sex she can’t afford the contraception.”

(http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/rush-limbaugh-calls-law-student-a-slut-wanting-contraception-covered-health-insurance-religious-institutions-article-1.1031283#ixzz1oDOPv3vq)

Sooo, it’s not about the right to have access to birth control IF you support denying said access based on religious principles, but if you support it’s availability THEN it’s clearly solely due to your desire to prostitute yourself?  Okay.

His statement doesn’t even make sense. “She’s having so much sex (as a prostitute) she can’t afford the contraception.” If you are making money as a prostitute, wouldn’t you have money for contraception? Does she want to be paid in contraceptives to have sex? What does that even mean?!

He goes on to insult Ms. Fluke further by insinuating that she has brought shame to her family through her testimony:

“Can you imagine if you’re her parents how proud of Sandra Fluke you would be?” he said. “Your daughter goes up to a congressional hearing conducted by the Botox-filled Nancy Pelosi and testifies she’s having so much sex she can’t afford her own birth control pills and she agrees that Obama should provide them, or the Pope.” (nice pot shot at Nancy, here, btw)

Quite frankly, I would be incredibly proud of my child for standing up for what he/she believes to be right, particularly in such a public way.  What a good job I would have done as a parent, to have taught my child to have the courage of his or her convictions!

Additionally, Rush dismisses Ms. Fluke’s claim that birth control can be used for other medical purposes besides contraception, thus making affordable birth control in some cases, a medical necessity. Nope. All those girls are just out there procreating at every possible moment.

As a woman who’s been on birth control since she was 18 years old due to a medically diagnosed hormone imbalance, I am in a unique position to clearly point out how little Rush knows of what he speaks. Not only were birth control pills used to regulate my otherwise nonexistent cycle, my OB/GYN recently informed me that at 40, she wanted to keep me on the pill for a few more years because she was concerned that my low estrogen levels during my youth had hindered my bone density which develops (with the help of estrogen) during a woman’s 20s and 30s.

I can also speak to the expense of the pill, since when I moved back to the East Coast, I did not have health insurance and had to pay out of pocket for my annual exam (required to get the prescription for the pill) as well as the pill itself, which at that time had no generic equivalent and cost over $25 per month. Needless to say that due to the expense, I did not rush off to the OB/GYN or the pharmacy.  I was well overdue for my annual by the time I was able to afford to visit the doctor.

Over the past few days, Rush has issued not one, but two “apologies” on this topic. I use the word apologies in quotes, because even when he is apologizing (whether heartfelt or not), he cannot help but take a pot shot:

“I descended to [the left’s] level when I used those two words to describe Sandra Fluke,” Limbaugh said.

(because clearly his poor word choice is the liberals’ fault)

“…those two words were inappropriate… They distracted from the point that I was actually trying to make… My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir.”

(in an attempt to be humorous? ‘You are a slut and a prostitute whose parents should be ashamed of you and your slutty ways.’  Wow, you’re right, that is frickin’ hysterical!!)

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/cutline/limbaugh-not-think-sandra-fluke-slut-prostitute-181711551.html

He claims that his apology has nothing to do with the advertisers who have left, as he “reject[s} millions of dollars of advertising a year, much to the chagrin of my ad sales team” and will be able to easily replace the lost revenue. I hope he’s started calling around, as I think he’s down about 10 companies as of this writing.

In His brilliant way, I’m sure Rush would simply dismiss me as some bitter little femi-nazi who just needs to “get some” (because if you’re not a prostitute, you are obviously a shrew who is not “getting any”).  Of course, once I do, I’ll need some more birth control.  And then I’ll be a slut. And it all comes full circle once again.